War, What Is It Good For?
by Phoenix II
Summary: Slight AU from the movie. Instead of Cartman and Kyle in the trench at the end, it's Stan and Kyle, and they've both got something to say. SLASH: Styleboys. Written for Flabz and SouthParkateer.


War, What Is It Good For?

Disclaimer: I don't own SP, or any weaponry mentioned in the course of this piece.

Summary: Written for Karen (Flabz), out of an idea nugget she had with Kirsten (SouthParkateer) and thought I brought out admirably on MSN. You know which parts they are :D Basic tenet is, slight AU from the movie. Instead of Cartman and Kyle in the trench at the end, it's Stan and Kyle, and Stan's got something to say…

Kyle's POV, btw…

-.-

They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. If that's true, my mom's going to burn hotter and faster than a neglected _latke_ during Hanukah. Only she, of all people, would think executions of comedians and a massive military battle would be a good thing.

This entire escapade has been one bad thing after another. First, we bribe a hobo to get us into an R-rated movie. We know we aren't supposed to see R-rated movies, but it's _Terrance and_ fucking _PHILIP_!!! Then, Kenny lit a fart on fire and got his heart replaced by a baked potato and died. That was slightly disgusting. For that, we got grounded. Then, we find out that our Moms have had Terrance and Philip arrested, put on trial, and sentenced to death for something that, as far as I've been able to determine, isn't even a CRIME! The bonfire in the middle of town, MAC, the USO show…all of it, just one big fucking huge mistake. And for it, my mother will burn.

The USO show is how we got into this predicament. We snuck in with the help of that strange French boy to rescue Terrance and Philip. Great plan, that. Sneak into an entire base full of soldiers with automatic weapons and missiles and bombs and grenades and all sorts of things to try and remove the centers-of-attention with the help of some ratty looking, chain-smoking, French-accented ten-year-old agnostic. That led to this. Just as Mole had died from dog-inflicted wounds, Garrison had thrown the switch and begun the executions of our Canadian idols. Cartman, in a single act of genius, had turned it off, at the expense of getting a brief shock himself. They had run off without a second thought, leaving us, who were supposed to be escorting them to freedom (or at least to that stuck up prick, Gregory) to chase after them.

Then came The Bomb. Not a nuclear bomb, no, I say "The Bomb" because it's the cause of my current situation. The Bomb came out of nowhere and exploded directly behind us. Stan and I were running ahead, Cartman and his fat ass lagging behind as always dodging soldiers as we looked for Terrance and Philip. Then came the explosion, just as I had turned around to berate Cartman for falling behind.

The explosion had sent Stan and I flying into a trench, but not before I saw Cartman shredded – and I do mean _SHREDDED_, like cheese or wheat – by shrapnel, with what was left being lit on fire from the heat of the blast. Stan and I both landed in this trench, and are VERY glad for the shelter it's providing us.

Stan looks very worried. "Kyle," he says, before being cut off by a very close explosion that sends dirt flying onto our heads, along with some things I'd rather not see. Feeling them is bad enough. Bad enough to divert Stan from what he was actually going to say, inspiring a loud "Shit!" instead.

I, meanwhile, am in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. "We're going to die," I say. "We're going to fucking die here!" Stan looks at me, I can feel his gaze, and rests a hand on me.

"Kyle," he says. "I have something I need to tell you." 

I stop rocking. "Me too..." I reply, trailing off. I've needed to say this for at least a year now. Wanted and needed so badly. And if we're going to die, and I don't tell him now, I may never get the chance. 

"I love you." We both say it, in unison, and then both stare at each other and blush with shocked expressions on our faces. Me moreso, because for the last three years Stan Marsh has lived, breathed, and dreamed about Wendy Testaburger.

He can read the reason for my shock. "Yes," he says, "I love you. Clitorises and whatever...girls are hell, man. I have everything I need whenever I'm with you." I don't think there's anything that can be said by anyone on this world that would make me happier than that.

"I love you so much," I reply. "Now, at the end of the world, more than anything. Promise me you'll stay with me until the end, Stan."

He crawls over and gives me a little peck on the cheek. "I promise," he says, snuggling up to me, and holding me close while the war rages on around us.

_Fin_

-.-

Author's Notes: TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT! Kawaii BLU confessions have been done before, but I definitely appreciate the feedback of each and every one of you readers, no matter what you thought!


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